Adopting an Attitude of Gratitude
© Jill Bond"Gratitude is such a powerful tool, that we must be inadvertently avoiding it."
This does not sound like a logical statement, does it? Gratitude is the kind of discipline that our parents admonished us to do, like flossing and doing sit-ups - it feels great when we have DONE it, but we never enjoy doing it.
I have found that the best method of teaching gratitude is modeling it. Mom and Dad, you set the example by writing thank you notes, by standing in the long line after church to tell the pastor how much you enjoyed the sermon, and by noticing the name of your waitress and turning in a positive comment card as you leave the restaurant.
Though I was reared to be grateful (it was almost second nature) I did not realize how important it really was until early in the transition part of my life. Two separate things targeted my understanding:
1) I received thank you notes for my thank you notes. People mentioned or even wrote back to me thanking me for thanking them.
2) Other people's thank you notes meant real money to me. While working at Walt Disney World, my raises and promotions were directly linked to all the thank you notes that people sent in AFTER their vacation. I found it amazing that anyone would take the time to write a note to the resort to mention something I had done for them, but every one of those went into my file and were converted to good reviews from my supervisors.
For every time I have been thankful, my action to inaction ratio has been less than 1:100. As for modeling with our children, I think it is a start - to begin to see and feel and then pray with an attitude of gratefulness. Yes, I know the teller at the bank is paid to serve me, but she still is adding to the exchange with her cheerfulness and competence. As I wait through the steps of the deposit, I should thank the Lord for her and ask Him to bless her. That is the least I should do. Then I should thank her - honestly thank her. Not just that quick, mumbled thank you we sometimes throw out. The next step takes time. But it can really impact others when we tell someone else. It could be just telling the person in line behind you that "Susan" did a great job for you or stopping by the receptionist on the way out and mentioning how much you appreciate Susan's smile each time you come in.
The most time consuming step and the one I am most apt to forget is to jot down a quick note when I get home and mail it to her manager. Store website and feedback forums now make it easier to do. One of our favorite ways to say thank you was when we baked muffins for the "sanitation engineers" and waited for them to arrive to haul off our garbage. We gave them a break early one morning and they then had no doubt that we did not take their service to our family for granted.
Early in our marriage, Alan and I wrote in a notebook each night people and events during the day that we were thankful for. It was wonderful because we would look for "thanks" to write down. It changes your attitude when you hunt for good things, instead of letting the "day just happen to you." We never ran short of writing material.
Can you remember what wonderful things receiving a thank you note did for you?, Can you remember when you did something and did not receive a note? We sent a $100 gift certificate to a friend's daughter for her upcoming wedding - which for us was a great deal of money, but I guess it was insignificant because the gift was never acknowledged. I mention this event because it is still a question mark in my mind. As much as I want to be Christ-like, I remember that slight. This then instantly focuses my mind to think, "Who have I forgotten to thank?" Is there someone out there that is waiting for an acknowledgment from me?
I know of many people who work many hours for you and your family - your support group leaders, your pastor, your mail carrier, your President, your trash collectors - to name a few. If you really thought about it there are enough people worthy of your gratitude to inspire a thank you note per day for a full year. I understand this sounds overwhelming, so as a writing exercise with your children, make a list of twelve people to thank this year, and send them a note. (And if they have a boss or overseer, send a copy to that supervisor - it could mean wonders to their career. AND definitely send a thank you message (a bullet prayer) to everyone's overseer, Our Father in Heaven, who provided all these wonderful people in your life.)
Teaching Points: (1) Model the attitude of gratefulness with your words, actions, and reactions. (2) Teach your children how to write thank you notes (even a "thanks" email). (3) Demonstrate who ultimately is the source of all Goodness and Who is worthy of true thanksgiving, and praises.
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Writer bio info: (optional for printing with article)
Alan and Jill Bond have been homeschooling for more than twenty years. Jill is an award-winning speaker and best-selling author of Dinner's in the Freezer!, Writing to God's Glory., and Mega Cooking. They have two international ministries: The Bonding Place and PREACCH (Parents Rearing and Educating Autistic Children in Christian Homes). For more information about their ministries, The Bonding Place, PO Box 12103, Fort Pierce, FL 34979; hs@bondingplace.com; www.bondingplace.com.
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